Tabularasa: The Pieces of You
by Athena
Summary: [Post Suikoden III] Albert and Caesar meet once again in Chisha Village, a year after the Second Fire Bringer War. This time, the circumstances are even stranger than before.
1. A Journal Entry

Disclaimer: Suikoden III and the Silverberg brothers don't belong to me. If they did, I would throw out tons of Suikogaiden stories about my favorite side characters, these two boys included. This is an old story I never got around to finishing two years ago. I'm hoping reposting it will give me the resolve to continue the story.  
Started: September 10, 2003  
Finished: October 2, 2003  
Revised: July 1, 2005

* * *

**"Tabularasa - The Pieces of You"**  
_Prologue: A Journal Entry_

I don't know where to start. I've never liked putting my thoughts down on paper, but Apple keeps on badgering about how this is a good practice and I find myself always hearing her in the back of my mind. She says good strategists often write down their plans and theories to hone them later.

If that's the case, I bet _he_ has a library of his own writings.

No matter what I do, I always find myself wondering how Albert would fit into the puzzle. I guess it's just become a habit. I mean, he was a major part of my life, considering there were only two of us and we were always surrounded by tutors, professors, and other crocks that wanted to be a piece of Silverberg history. We were drilled and trained about basic tactics about the same time we learned how to _read._

Whoever said Silverberg prowess in warfare is in the blood is full of shit.

Albert kept me sane back then. I don't know how he did it, really; I mean, he had to put up with the same crap I had to when he was my age, but he didn't complain or anything. I … well, _I_ fought tooth and nail over each lesson until I was 12 years old. That was when Albert became 'Sir Albert Silverberg, genius grandson of Leon' and stopped being 'Albert, my big brother.'

But I'm getting ahead of myself now.

He was great as an older brother. I don't really have anyone to compare him to, but he was always there when I needed him and simply … I dunno, God? … Maybe not something that high… An angel? Saint? Hmm… I think 'angel' is the best comparison. He was my saving grace when I thought the entire world was going crazy and everything didn't make sense.

And that was before puberty. Heh.

Anyhow, Albert kinda kept all of his "pre-professional" stuff out of the house once he was "of age." Somehow, he managed to make it seem like nothing had changed throughout his teenage years, although I know now that he went through a rigorous setup of political histories and law books, sprinkled with ancient philosophies of warfare and whatnot. (I skipped ancient history and philosophy since I thought that was even _more_ crap than any of my other studies. Call me arrogant, but I think the farthest back I need to know is when Julian Silverberg helped establish the Scarlet Moon Empire.) He continued to read stories to me before I went to sleep and he made time to play with me despite his schedule.

Looking back on it, I constantly wonder the significance of those years. Was he acting back then? Was he acting during the Second Flame Champion War? Have I ever seen Albert's true face?

I don't know. I really don't.

We used to do so much together when we were younger. He made it his business to babysit me when I was little - I don't think I ever had a nanny because of him. It's kinda funny, since he really doesn't seem like the type to like kids. Then again, neither does Grandpa, and he took pretty good care of _his_ family. He did all these silly things for me, like hold me up when I wanted to look in a fountain or read to me when I couldn't sleep at night. Hell, he even let me sleep with him when I got scared of the lightning and thunder.

Yeah, yeah. I was only five. _Everyone_ is scared of thunder at that age.

So, anyway… This is becoming an essay of Albert and my childhood. Funny thing is, I don't even remember what I had in mind when I sat down and started writing. Looking back and reading the beginning of this crap, I mentioned Apple and Albert, and then everything spiraled into teenage angst and my damnable big brother. He messed up my life when he left to "study abroad," which basically meant he went to Crystal Valley and locked himself in a library for several months. I was completely at a loss as to what to do with my life. I was only twelve years old.

Dammit. _Dammit._ Now I'm crying.

I had absolutely no interest in studying. I knew I was smart, and I knew I could do whatever I wanted to do, but nothing interested me. _Nothing._ I wasn't fond of being a doctor, or a lawyer, or a merchant, or anything like that. At the back of my mind, this incessant voice kept nagging me about the Silverberg family traditions. But I was sick of strategist paradigms, war history, and thinking of people as pawns to move on a chess board.

On a completely unrelated note, Albert kicked my ass in chess.

Apple broadened my perspective of the Silverberg family. She actually came to Gregminster to interview Dad, saying she was gathering information for a biography on Uncle Mathiu, who died a year before I was born. She let me read notes and rough drafts she had written while writing. It still amazes me that she's been searching for information for Uncle Mathiu's biography since she was fifteen years old. I think she must've taken some time off after the Dunan Unification Wars to pursue love or other stuff, since all her notes are pretty old now.

She'd probably knock me over the head for musing over her past, so I'll stop that now. I've lost a lot of sleep over comments I made on Apple's past; she likes to remind me that I'm a kid and that I don't need to pry into things that don't concern me.

I love her and hate her for it.

'Never wanted to grow up. I liked being irresponsible and not dealing with reality. That's probably why I clung onto Albert as much as I did. He shouldered responsibility like pillows. It was his cup of tea. It was the feather in his cap. I could use so many more stupid metaphors, but I'll plead laziness. He was more than willing to shield me from the rest of the world's troubles.

Was he honestly protecting me from the cold, harsh world?

Or was he suppressing the only person who could stop his great ambitions?

What a laugh. A year's passed since the Second Flame Champion War, and I've had time to grow cynical.

Guess what, Albert?

I'm all grown up.

x x x x x

He trudged through the dark forests, his burden slung over one shoulder and a grimace on his face. Behind him, a flank of dour-eyed colleagues watched out for any witnesses to their deed and held weapons at ready for any monsters that may come after them.

"Okay. This is far enough. I want to make it back to the horses by daybreak."

A grunt escaped the man as he finally stopped, nodding in agreement to the speaker before dumping his extra weight on the hard forest ground. "Let's get outta here, then. I can't believe the bishops spared the guy." Shaking his head darkly, he kicked the heap he had deposited on the ground.

"Stop that. He's harmless now. Just leave him be."

The others were already walking away. Sighing to himself, the one that had been carrying the exiled man gingerly pulled the article of clothing that had been slung over his other shoulder and flung it over the body on the ground.

"The gods have mercy on your soul, boy."

There was no movement from underneath the long, white coat as the men walked away.


	2. The Movement of Stars

Started: October 15, 2003  
Finished: November 28, 2003  
Revised: April 7, 2005

* * *

**"Tabularasa - The Pieces of You"**  
_Chapter 1: The Movement of Stars_

"Your Holiness."

Aquamarine eyes flickered open at the call, focusing immediately on the figure bowing before him. "What is it, Dios?" the youthful-looking bishop inquired, a hand touching his brow wearily.

"I'm sorry to bother you after the matter of excommunication yesterday, but something terrible has happened."

Sasarai straightened at the statement; Dios was never one for dramatics under any circumstances. "What happened?"

"The Beast Rune is missing."

A cold chill shot through the bishop's body at the admission. His life had been nightmarish since the ending of the Second Fire Bringer War, with his questioning of his own existence making life harder than he ever imagined. The simple mentioning of the Beast Rune, however, reminded him of his fateful meeting with Luc, and thus… He shook his head, concentrating on the subject at hand. The Beast Rune had been confiscated after the ending of the Dunan Unification War, contained in Crystal Valley for the years following. "That's impossible. It couldn't just _leave_…"

"Apparently, sir, it did." Dios sighed, hands folded behind him and his face grim. "It was found missing this morning, but we have every reason to believe it 'left' as early as yesterday."

Rising slowly from his seat, Sasarai pieced together his calm and collected mask. "Dispatch search parties immediately. Scour the entire country if you must. We _have to_ find the Beast Rune." Dios saluted at the order, but the bishop was not finished. "I want a detailed list of people who had access to Crystal Valley and who could possibly carry it away."

"… You have reason to believe someone _took_ it?" inquired the aquiline-nosed Harmonian.

"Like I said, the Beast Rune couldn't just leave," Sasarai stated, a wry smile claiming his features. "We managed to keep it in Crystal Valley against its will for sixteen years. It was only a matter of time before it would try to escape by choosing a bearer."

Dios' eyes widened at the thought. "If that is the case … I will call for the Howling Voice Guild."

Sasarai nodded in approval at Dios' action. "We cannot take any chances. Send for Dominguez Junior as well, Dios."

"Of course, Your Holiness."

x x x x x

_My head hurts…_

A groan escaped him as he sat up, one hand coming up to rub grit from his eyes. Opening his eyes provided him an image beyond the blackness, and he stared owlishly at his green surroundings.

_Where am I?_

Nothing around him looked familiar. Large trees loomed above him, obscuring most of the blue sky. Sunlight trickled down from between the breaks in the natural canopy, giving enough light to see birds flit by on lower branches. The chirping of birds and the crunching of his shoes against the ground were all the sounds that greeted him in his confusion.

He felt something slip from his back, turning to gaze curiously at the white garment. He bent down to reach for it, gasping aloud as pain jolted through his chest.

_"Happy birthday, son." _

"Carrying on the tradition, huh? Runes, I hate long coats."

"You never struck me as the sentimental type."

The agony shot through his entire body, and he found himself reeling away from the offending material with wide eyes. He shuddered and shook his head, frightened by the unfamiliar voices echoing in his head. A final voice entered his mind, demanding his attention and persisting with the same two words:

**Not yet.**

A howl pierced his clouded mind, bringing his attention back to his woodland surroundings. He looked around in fright, unable to pin the source of the disturbing sound. A second howl echoed throughout the woods, closer than the first and so much louder. His instincts kicked in response, and he fled from the clearing without a glance behind.

The only signs of his passing were broken branches and a discarded white coat.

x x x x x

The weather was beautiful today.

Of course, the Grasslands were not known for their abundant rain, and so the statement was more a moot point than anything; the air was a bit dry, the clouds more than usual, and the monsters watching from a distance. It was a good thing Caesar had attached a Skunk Rune prior to their journey from Brass Castle.

Apple brushed a stray strand of hair from her face, looking behind at her traveling companion. The sleepy-eyed Silverberg was chewing on a long piece of grass, hands tucked behind his head as he walked along like some sort of country bumpkin. She smiled to herself, incredibly proud of her pupil. Caesar was now the same age she had been during the Dunan Unification Wars, but with much more knowledge under his belt than she had at that time. He had handled war strategy and cooperated with his peers, working out efficient plots to bring the Fire Bringers to victory against Luc and his frightening goals.

Her smile gave way for a frown as she realized what he had to deal with to gain that knowledge.

She had always known that Albert would become a great strategist; the moment she saw gazed upon those calculating, dark green eyes, she knew that he would become an astounding and excellent strategist worthy of the name Silverberg. However, she had never expected to face him in battle, and under the command of a familiar man such as Luc. Away from the eyes of the other members of the Fire Bringers, she brooded over the strange twists of fate that brought such familiar figures from her past back - as her enemies.

"Tell me again why we're going to Chisha, Apple?" Caesar yawned, scratching his head and quickening his pace to walk beside the older woman.

"Because Lady Sana wanted to hold a feast in your honor for helping protect the village before, and it's rude to decline such an offer," Apple replied with certainty. She had received the message two nights ago via carrier pigeon and had urged Caesar into traveling as soon as it was light out.

Caesar grumbled, rolling his shoulders. "And then after that? Are we _finally_ leaving?"

"It was very nice of Bishop Sasarai to send materials from Crystal Valley. So yes, I think I'll be finished with this part of the biography," confirmed the woman. "We can head back to Gregminster if you want."

"Eh… Well, that's an idea…" Caesar shrugged, frowning slightly. "'Haven't been home for awhile now…" He adopted the intense look that reminded Apple so much of her old mentor, and she could only imagine what was running through his head.

_How do I tell Mom and Dad that I had to fight you, Albert?_

x x x x x

He staggered, blinking hard as he found himself reaching the end of the forest. The clouds above rumbled in warning of a coming storm, and he shuddered at the foreboding sound. The land beyond was flat and covered with rolling plains as far as his eyes could see. He stood there, breathless.

_It's beautiful … but there's a storm coming… What do I do?_

He stepped out onto the plains, feeling the grass tickle his ankles and calves as he warily walked onward. Many animals had gone for shelter, but the occasional quail would poke its head out of the thrush as he passed by.

An endless span of grass, a sea of greenery. Cloudy skies, strong winds, and a sun that shone brightly whenever the clouds parted and allowed the sunlight to caress the flat earth. The trees behind him, the grass before him, no water, no buildings…

_Nothing looks familiar._

He stood there in quiet indecision for a moment, a black figure against the colors of the plains. With the storm brewing overhead, he found himself even more unwilling to leave the shelter of the trees. But something thrummed persistently in his head, spurring him onward.

**Go. Go now. Farther.**

Shaking his head and running a hand through disheveled red hair, the young man went off into the plains without any known destination.

x x x x x

"Have a message for me, Dominguez?"

The nasel bird bobbed its head in acknowledgment, resting on its master's shoulder and showing off the rolled piece of parchment attached to its leg. However, as the man reached to remove the paper, the bird fluttered away and chirped. The blonde scowled, a twinkle in those experienced blue eyes as he took off after the bird.

"It's times like this that I remember exactly why I named you after your predecessor," grumbled the man, shaking his head in amusement as Dominguez Junior flitted out of his reach again. "C'mon, Dominguez, I'm not that young anymore…"

The nasel bird chirped in what could only be called amusement and returned to the blonde, lifting its leg in offering again. Nash Latkje could only chuckle quietly as he removed the parchment, unrolling it to read its contents.

The laughter died in his throat as he read the message.

_Report to the Tower at once._

x x x x x

The coat still carried his scent.

He removed one black glove to finger the white material, smooth fingers deftly trailing across latches and buttons that he recognized without looking at them. His eyes were on broken branches and a human-sized impression in the grass, studying them silently and determining which direction the coat's wearer and gone.

It had not taken long for him to notice that Albert had left Harmonia; his contract bond still carried enough power to allow him to sense the red-haired Silverberg's movement out of the Holy Kingdom of Harmonia. Even though he had been several hundred miles away, he made his way to track after the young man he had last been summoned by. He had no idea why Silverberg would leave the shelter of the powerful country only a year after gaining rank, and faint curiosity pulled him towards the strategist's position. However, as time passed and Silverberg gained more distance between himself and the border of Harmonia, the bond they shared became weaker.

Something magical was shielding his contract bond, and it was no longer the magic exuded by the Circle Rune.

Slipping his glove back on, the blonde folded the coat and slung it over one shoulder. Frowning and looking off in the direction the broken branches indicated as the way Albert took earlier, he exited the clearing in the cluster of trees.

His exit was just as silent as his entrance, without footsteps or footfalls.


	3. Unbidden

Disclaimer: Suikoden and its characters don't belong to me. There are references to Suikogaiden in this story, but they do not greatly affect the storyline besides some small matters of story accuracy. Readers will be able to understand the storyline just fine without knowing anything about Suikogaiden.   
Started: January 10, 2004   
Finished: January 17, 2004   
Revised: July 18, 2005

* * *

**"Tabularasa - The Pieces of You"**   
_Chapter 2: Unbidden_

"Under normal circumstances, I would have nothing to say to you… I would not deal with you, I would not _look_ at you." 

Nash Latkje raised his hands in a show of submission, nodding grimly at the older blonde as they met in front of the Tower, home of the Howling Voice Guild. "Notice my lack of disagreement. I wouldn't be standing here if I wasn't _ordered_ to." 

The other grunted in response, turning on his heel and striding away with his black cloak billowing behind him. Nash followed after the older man, the tight frown on his face as they climbed a flight of stairs. The black-cloaked blonde maintained a quick and aggressive pace as he led the way, anger apparent in every step he took. Nash kept a fair distance away, sighing to himself as they entered a conference room. 

A familiar, brown-haired bishop sat at the head of the table, accompanied only by a man with an aquiline nose and bushy eyebrows. The youthful-appearing bishop smiled faintly for the two blondes, gesturing to them. "Please, sit down, gentlemen. We have important matters to discuss." 

"Lord Sasarai, if you don't mind, I'd like to know why I would have to sit down with someone like him…" 

"When His Holiness says _important_ matters, it would be best if you listened, Sir Clive," Dios said blandly from his place to Sasarai's right. "Be seated, please." 

Nash was the first to move, taking a seat beside Dios and focusing his attention on Sasarai. Clive grudgingly walked forward and took the seat across from Nash, adamantly keeping his gaze from the former Harmonian noble. "Fine," he muttered gruffly. "Now, what exactly is the problem that concerns _him_?" 

"Actually, Sir Clive, the question should be 'what exactly is the problem that concerns _you,_" corrected Sasarai, his tone tranquil despite the seriousness in his ageless eyes. "We are trying to keep this quiet, but the Beast Rune has managed to get out of Crystal Valley." Both blondes reacted similarly, frowning gravely and narrowing their eyes simultaneously. "I have called both of you here because of your levels of expertise." Sasarai's gaze fell on the older of the two. "Sir Clive, you have had to deal with the Beast Rune in the past. You were actually in the company of Riou Genkaku when he stormed L'Renouille, were you not?" 

The veteran Gunner nodded curtly. "I saw that Silverberg fellow slice his arm and feed the rune, and I fought alongside the boy against it, yes." 

"The Beast Rune has escaped Crystal Valley, and I fear alerting everyone will raise an uproar … especially with the last war so fresh in everyone's minds." 

"Trying to keep it within a secret circle then?" Clive snorted cynically, his crow's feet becoming more pronounced as his eyes narrowed further. "If the Beast has gotten out, we'll be hearing about it soon, undoubtedly." 

Sasarai nodded in agreement, sighing. "I am hoping we can find it before that happens." 

"Unlikely," Nash interjected, having kept his silence as he allowed the information to sink in. "I hate to say it, Bishop Sasarai, but the chances of finding that thing before it causes havoc…" He paused, cupping his chin with one hand as he shook his head. "And is it safe to assume someone carried it out of the capital, since it was safely sealed in the One Temple for over a decade?" 

Again, a nod from the youthful-faced bishop. "I fear that, with every passing hour, the chances that the Beast Rune has left our borders become more likely. Nash, Sir Clive, I would like to request that you put aside your differences to aid me in finding that rune before other countries realize this disturbance." 

Clive looked tersely at the younger man across the table, meeting those blue eyes with a degree of hostility. However, Sasarai rising again from his seat drew his attention away from the fallen Harmonian noble. "… To aid this quest, I have something for you, Nash." 

Nash's eyes followed the bishop silently, not betraying anything until Dios stepped away and knelt to pull something from underneath the table. Sasarai took the long box from the man, sliding it across the table to rest in front of the blonde spy. Raising a brow in confusion, Nash opened the box to find two horribly familiar swords sitting upon red satin. 

Grosser Fluss looked anything but innocent upon the cushions, a crimson sheen to the deadly weapons even as they sat in silence. 

"… Impossible…" Nash swallowed hard, settling back heavily in his chair and averting his gaze back to the bishop. "H- how did you…?" _I buried Grosser Fluss when I killed Zaj. It can't be here…_

"Fifteen years is a long time, Nash," Sasarai said simply in reply, his expression very serious as he looked at the three Harmonians around him. "Because of my wishes to keep this matter quiet, we require enough strength in the four of us to take down the Beast Rune alone. Thus the need for Grosser Fluss." 

Nash returned his eyes to the cursed heirloom of his family, sighing raggedly. He did not doubt that the Grosser Fluss' recovery was only one of many secrets Sasarai withheld from the general public. "And you're willing to take the risk of me killing you, bishop?" 

Sasarai smiled wanly at the question. "I'm no friend of death, but I'll do what is necessary for the sake and safety of Harmonia." His gaze traveled evenly over the three men, and nodded. "We leave discreetly. Be prepared to go in an hour." 

x x x x x

The plains went on forever. 

He had no idea how many times he had stopped and stared dazedly at the never-ending expanse of land. There were no landmarks around for him to make sure he was not traveling in circles. Something insistently told him to keep moving, to keep going onward, and he obeyed it without any other direction to go. But no matter how much this sense prodded him forward, he always found himself hesitating and looking back. 

He felt as if he was leaving something behind. 

There was no escaping the fact that there was an large, uncomfortable blank in his memory. He knew his senses, the colors, and even recognized a few animals by their most simplistic of names, but there was no history to this known knowledge. He tugged at his black gloves and hugged himself as lightning tore through sky, followed only a second later by a loud rumble. 

_Lightning and thunder._

It was another thing to recognize without truly knowing where the thought came from. He looked skyward, watching the dark clouds churn overhead silently. The few animals around had fallen silent, leaving him to face the storm alone. 

**Go.**

The young man ran a gloved hand through his hair and continued forward, bringing his hand up to inspect a hair that he had combed out. The red hair, under the light allowed by the cloud-covered sky, appeared dark and speckled with … even darker color. He stumbled over rocks during his examination of the hair, wincing as he tore the left knee of his pants and scraped the skin underneath on the ground. 

Pain tore through his entire body, and it took several moments for him to find his wits again. He inspected the unbroken skin of his knee with a sigh, brushing himself off and continuing on his way. 

_What was that…?_ he wondered, sidestepping holes dug by burrowing animals in the plains. _My whole body hurt…_

No sooner had the thought crossed his mind was it gone again, and he paused with a blank look on his face. 

**Go.**

The redhead obeyed the pulse in his head, sighing in relief as he found his reward at the bottom of a green slope. 

Domesticated animals. A barking dog and a flock of sheep. 

And, in the distance, _people._

He could not keep the smile off his face as he headed towards civilization. 

x x x x x

A yawn escaped Caesar as he leaned against the wall, tapping the tip of one boot against the raft planks that served as flooring for the floating buildings. He and Apple had reached Duck Village safely, and were in need of a room for the night. Although there was plenty of time left in the day, Apple had come to the decision that they would be better off not risking the trek through Kuput Forest, as they would not be able to reach Chisha before nightfall. 

Personally, he thought it was the smartest thing she had said all day. Of course, he would never _voice_ that thought, as there was _already_ a fair-sized lump on his head from a comment he had made earlier. 

_Really now, it's not _my_ fault she takes my jokes so seriously… I only mentioned her hair _twice_ in my comparison of coarse animal furs._

For him, that was a show of real restraint. 

"Ah, I was certain I recognized you." 

Caesar cracked an eye open to see one of the many residents of the village gazing at him with knowledgeable eyes. He stood a bit straighter and yawned, tilting his head as he tried to get his mind jogging. This particular duck wore a unique helmet of green and red. "You're that … duck…" 

"I can see you're still the same as I last remember you, sir strategist," the helmeted duck stated wryly, quacking quietly in amusement. "Well met, Sir Silverberg. I'm Sergeant Jordi." 

"Oh, yeah, that's right," Caesar muttered, rubbing at his forehead and feigning nonchalance at the title. "I should've recognized you; you're always with the Flame Champ and his pet griffin." He looked around the room suspiciously, as if expecting the two to appear out of the blue. 

"Hugo is helping with the rebuilding of the Karaya Village and, of course, Fubar is with him," Jordi replied, noticing the look on Caesar's face. "I'm surprised to see you here; I would have thought you would be in the company of Miss Apple." 

As if to emphasize Jordi's point, Apple's voice floated from the doorway as the woman approached. "All right, Caesar, we're all checked in- Oh my, if it isn't the Sergeant!" 

"Hello, Miss Apple," Jordi greeted, bobbing slightly at the sight of the woman. "It's good to see you again." He looked between the two strategists. "To what pleasure do we owe this visit?" 

"We're just spending the night, Sergeant; we'll be gone by tomorrow," Apple said with a kind smile. "There's going to be a feast in Caesar's honor in Chisha." 

Jordi quacked in his version of a chuckle, looking at the redhead as an audible grumble escaped him. "Enjoy your stay, then. Will you be needing a guide through Kuput Forest?" 

"I'm sure we'll be fine," declined the bespectacled woman. "Thank you for the offer, though." 

Caesar merely grunted, stretching and heading into the inn without a proper farewell. 

x x x x x

_This isn't what I wanted!_

The screaming would not die, much like howling wind. 

_I want to be free!_

Frustration. Distress. Anger. 

_Stop this!_

The vice seemed to a firmer grip, aggravating the soul. 

_LET ME GO!_

The captured soul's cries went unanswered. 

x x x x x

Sana looked upon the young man the shepherds had brought to her. He looked down at his gloved hands clenched in his lap from time to time, nervous under the scrutiny of the woman that was apparently the village elder. She looked at his posture and his hunched shoulders, at the pale tone of his unmarred skin… He was definitely not of the Grassland clans, and it was doubtful that he was from Caleria without the wind-burnt skin and hard features of a mercenary. 

"… You have no recollection of anything except waking up this morning?" she inquired, leaning forward in her seat to look at the man. He raised his gaze shyly, shaking his head quietly. "A name? Images? We can't help you without knowing anything…" 

"Images?" he repeated, clearing his throat once he discovered he sounded a bit hoarse. He shook his head negatively, pausing as something flickered through his mind unbidden. 

_Fire. Swords. Screaming, sobbing, laughing… _

He saw well-dressed men kneel, men in armor salute… 

And, above it all, he saw a man… 

"A name…" He shut his eyes, attempting to focus on the man. There seemed to be some significance in the man that stood apart from the rest… 

_Astride a horse. Wearing white and blue and gold. _

Guarded by silver-armored men. 

Wild eyes. Wild hair. 

A matching leer. 

"A name? Do you have a name?" Sana asked, her voice encouraging as she watched the young man. 

Green eyes opened, slowly taking in their surroundings. "I remember a name…" He spoke slowly, unsure of the sudden knowledge but keeping the woman's question in mind. 

His shoulders seemed to relax, and the Chisha elder nodded slightly in approval as the redhead sat up in his seat. She remained silent, waiting for him to speak and answer her questions. The nameless redhead parted his lips, taking a deep breath before expelling the suspense building up in the old woman. 

"Luca. Luca Blight." 


	4. Stolen Thoughts

Disclaimer: I don't own Suikoden III or its characters, and I realize I am taking creative liberty with parts of the games that haven't been touched.  
Started: January 28, 2004  
Finished: February 3, 2004  
Revised: July 18, 2005

* * *

**"Tabularasa - The Pieces of You"**  
_Chapter 3: Stolen Thoughts_

_"I'm scared." _

There were rumblings of thunder and lightning outside the window. The tree branches thrashed noisily against the windowpane, spilling shadows into the room with every flash of light. Two forms huddled in one bed, the older of the two with a comforting arm around the younger's shoulders.

"Don't be scared. It can't hurt you."

The little boy, no more than five years old, sniffled and buried his face against his brother's chest. "Make it go away, Albie."

Albert sighed as his little brother clutched at him, holding him close as lightning illuminated the room again. "… You know I can't do that."

Caesar sniffled as Albert rubbed his back soothingly, shutting his eyes tightly. Albert smirked as an idea came to mind, extracting himself from his little brother and burying himself under the blankets. Caesar squeaked in confusion and followed him underneath, looking at the 11-year-old quizzically. "You're gonna hide under the blanket?" he wondered aloud. It was usually him_ that darted under the blanket first. _

Albert shook his head slowly, a grin stretching across his face, and launched himself at Caesar. The younger Silverberg laughed in surprise and delight, forgetting the storm raging outside the window as he was tickled half to death.

- - - - -

It was hardly a bad memory, but Caesar found himself frowning and stuffing his hands in his pockets as he tromped through Kuput Forest after Apple. He fixed the leather hood he had picked up from the Duck Village, scowling at the rain that accompanied the churning storm. Despite the fact that the rain had not stopped since it had started late last night, Apple had decided it best for them to finish the journey to Chisha. The thunder overhead reminded him of his childhood, and every part of his childhood eventually ended up connecting to Albert.

His thoughts were dispersed as he stepped into a deep puddle, and he let out a low growl in annoyance. Annoyance at Albert for distracting him, annoyance at the storm above for _making_ the puddle, and annoyance at those damn ducks for having their natural affinity to water and not needing cloaks and water-resistant boots. He seethed a little louder and stomped in the puddle like a little boy throwing a tantrum, only succeeding in drenching himself even more.

Apple turned to study her young charge, adjusting her rain-stained glasses. "Are you all right?" she inquired, raising a brow as he saw the redhead with one foot in a puddle.

"Yeah, yeah," sighed Caesar, kicking out his drenched boot futilely and frowning a bit more. "Let's just hurry up, okay? I'm getting tired of this; I'm gonna require a _long_ nap after we get there." The last comment was made weakly and without much feeling, but it would set Apple's mind at ease for the time being. He simply did not feel like venting his frustrations to her.

The woman watched Caesar for a moment longer before turning around, the wet hem of her dress flopping heavily with each step she took. Stuffing his hands back in his pockets, the young Silverberg wearily trudged after his mentor.

x x x x x

He sat in the corner of the underground tavern, his slender fingers curled around a glass of milk as his gaze traced the moss growing on the stone walls. Lady Sana had taken it upon herself to shelter him temporarily, buying him clothes and feeding him both dinner and breakfast despite his protests. The aged clan leader even accompanied him to the tavern, wanting him to be exposed to the other villagers in hopes of someone recognizing him.

"Thinking hard, Luca?"

His green eyes flitted to the kind, elderly face, taking in the slight smile before returning it. "Of course, Lady Sana," he acknowledged quietly. Because of his lack of memories and name, Sana had chosen to call him by the first name that came to his mind. He drank the contents of his glass and shifted his gaze to the other people in the room. The old woman had introduced him to several of the townspeople, hoping that the interaction would help jog memories. Unfortunately, her efforts were largely fruitless.

Luca pushed away the empty glass, rubbing the back of his right hand. The skin underneath, as he had noticed while removing his gloves to wash that morning, looked greatly irritated - a dark and angry red. When he had shown his hand to Sana, the woman had told him that it may have appeared red because of the strange brand that appeared nearly black against his skin. His hands, uncovered now, looked like strange cousins of one another; his left was fair and free of blemish, while the right looked so horrid he found himself unable to look at it for long.

There were few clues to his past; his all-black clothing that he had stumbled through the plains - the Grasslands, as Sana had called them - in, the simple earring clasped on his left ear, the name 'Luca Blight,' and the brand on his hand. No one in the village had been able to help him beyond telling him he was a foreigner; his red hair and green eyes were, apparently, very uncommon traits for the area. He was hesitant to share any of the glimpses of memories that he saw, as there was little he could discern in the midst of … haziness and light. _Light from … fire? No… Sunlight through windows, over tiles, and over-_

He blinked, a blank look capturing his face once again. Luca shook his head in confusion, shutting his eyes and bowing his head. _Was I thinking about something?_

"Luca?"

Green eyes flickered open, averting to focus on Sana. She smiled gently down at him, flanked by two teenage boys. "Would you like to see where we keep the sheep while it rains?"

An unfamiliar feeling stirred inside him, the name coming to mind before he could describe the sensation. Faint indignation. _Her tone is for a little boy… I'm not a little boy. I'm-_

**No.**

"… Of course, Lady Sana." A smile stretched across his face at the prospect of seeing something new even as the first glimmers of indignation and identity in his eyes were smothered.

x x x x x

Civilization. Chisha Village, if he remembered correctly.

The man in black stood a fair distance away from the cluster of buildings that made up the village, Silverberg's white coat still slung over one shoulder. He frowned in annoyance at the heavy rain, adjusting his hat and the load on his shoulder. If the boy had left the forest in the direction he had followed, the closest place he could arrive at would be Chisha.

_So why have you come here, Silverberg? There's nothing here of interest anymore._

Mismatched eyes narrowed as a howl resounded across the plains, and he raised his head as the cry was lost in the rumble of thunder. It had been years since he had heard such a howl - an unnatural sound from an unnatural animal. He turned away from the village, concentrating on locating the source of the noise. Another piercing howl caught his attention, and he began to stride in the direction. He was reminded of a mad prince with an appealing thirst for chaos and the deaths of thousands, as well as the pieces of the Rune of Beginning that governed the war.

Not once did he stop to think about his original goal, his senses ensnared by the howl of a beast. It did not occur to him that he may be being led away from the true source…

x x x x x

"I'm pleased that you could make it here. I was worried you wouldn't be able to get here with the weather."

Apple smiled at the Chisha Clan elder, hanging her cloak and trying to clean her glasses. "We're more resilient than some think," she replied with a quiet laugh, looking over her shoulder at her grumbling charge. "Caesar, don't be rude!"

Caesar wrung out his soaked hood and sighed, stepping forward and offering a wet hand in a handshake. "Hello again," he greeted Sana, "it's nice of ya to invite us here for a party."

Sana blinked once in surprise as the bespectacled woman thwacked the teenager, laughing a little at their combined behavior. She shook Caesar's hand briefly. "I'm glad to have you back here, Sir Silverberg," she said. "Your help here in Chisha was greatly appreciated, and there's only so much we can do to repay you."

Caesar withdrew his hand to scratch his damp hair, a whimsical smile on his face as he replied. "Well, first off, I'd like a nice, _long_ bath," he said resolutely. "And then a nice, _long_ nap."

"Of course, of course; I had thought as much," Sana complied, smiling at the young strategist's refreshing attitude. "If you take the stairs down, I'm sure you can find the bathhouse. I have already asked for it to be readied for your use."

Apple thanked the older woman on behalf of herself and her pupil, as Caesar had immediately started down the stone steps as soon as the words were out of Sana's mouth. The clan elder watched her two honored guests disappear from view, turning as she heard the front door open and shut. "Is that you, Luca?"

"Yes, it's me," answered Luca, removing his coat and cap and hanging them as he had been shown earlier in the day.

"Did you enjoy yourself?" the old woman inquired, moving across the room to greet the young man.

"As much as I could," Luca replied wryly, taking notice of the cloak hanging beside the door. "Visitors?"

Sana nodded in confirmation. "A young man and his teacher; they both helped protect the village about a year ago." She looked Luca over, realization in her dark eyes. "Sir Silverberg shares your hair and eye color. You may want to ask him where he is from."

"Silverberg?" The name grabbed Luca's attention, and he stared at Sana in surprise.

"Yes - Caesar Silverberg," Sana said with a nod. She took one look at the redhead's face. "Do you recognize the name?"

"Caesar Silverberg…" He shut his eyes, trying to gather the flying thoughts that had been triggered by the name. "I…"

**No.**

The old woman frowned slightly as Luca trailed off. "Do you recognize the name?" she repeated.

The green eyes that opened lacked something that had been present before they had been shut, but neither were able to notice. Luca gazed dazedly down at Sana. "Name?" he whispered quietly. He rubbed his forehead, shaking his head slowly.

"You must be tired," Sana sighed, abandoning the question upon seeing the weariness in the redhead's eyes. "You might want to go lie down, Luca."

He nodded slowly in agreement, turning to enter the next room even as he felt a headache coming on. "Will I get to meet these visitors sometime?"

"You can meet them tomorrow." She nodded at his back as he started away. "Goodnight, Luca. Good dreams, helpful dreams, all right?"

Luca smiled faintly, glancing over his shoulder as stood in the doorway. "Of course, Lady Sana. Goodnight."

x x x x x

The rain had finally stopped, and the clouds had begun to part to reveal the starry night sky. Under the pale moon and the shining stars, a figure moved through the still Grassland village. It loped past stone buildings and the sleeping people inside, knowing quite well that it was too weak to deal with attacking humans. It had been a long time since it had been free to eat … and now it knew of a good source of nourishment that it had not known about the night before.

There was nothing standing between him and his prey other than a unique fencing system that may have dealt with other predators. Unfortunately for the docile and oblivious sheep on the other side of the barriers, it was unlike any other predator to have laid eyes on them.

It took the sturdy wood into its maw and pulled hard, growling as the wood gave way with sharp and satisfying splintering. The beast tore through the fencing, snorting softly and advancing on to the next barrier. This one was a fair deal stronger than the first fence, but still stood no match against the beast's powerful teeth. Beyond the gates, the sheep began to stir, shifting and looking for the source of the disturbing sounds. Without a smell to be identified by and with the aid of silence, the beast had managed to get this close to its prey without being sensed.

One sheep raised its head to bleat in warning, but was quickly silenced as the beast lunged forward and brought its jaws around the hapless creature's windpipe. With animalistic brutality, it tore the sheep's throat out, alerting the others within the broken pen. Within moments, what had once been their only protection from predators became their cage, as the bloody-faced creature raised its head and growled.

**Blood. It has been a long time.**

_LET ME GO._

**Silence.**

The beast's eyes glittered green as it advanced on its prey, the frightened bleating of its victims tearing through the night air as surely as its fangs soon would.


	5. The Exiled Soul

Suikoden doesn't belong to me, and it never will. This chapter is for those of you who don't know what "tabularasa" (or "tabula rasa," as it actually is spelled) is yet, and for those of you that have been waiting (and _waiting_) for the brothers to finally meet.   
Started: February 20, 2004   
Finished: February 25, 2004   
Revised: July 18, 2005

* * *

**"Tabularasa The Pieces of You"**   
_Chapter 4: The Exiled Soul_

_"Sir, the high bishops have reached their verdict." _

He was not especially surprised that he had been handed the job of dealing with the accused; he had, in fact, dealt with him the longest and should have, by all rights, researched the strategist's background during the Second Fire Bringer War. Standing upon the dais, looking at the younger man, he could not feel any pity for the man that gazed back steadily. 

"On the charge of conspiracy against the Holy Kingdom of Harmonia, you have been sentenced guilty." 

Albert Silverberg had been a very questionable individual during the war, but he had been unable to pinpoint the exact moment when he begun to question the young man's advice. Only after connecting Albert to the black knight, Yuber, who was constantly seen in the company of Luc and Sarah, was he able to bring the issue up to the other bishops. 

And now he had to condemn the most cunning strategist he had ever seen. 

"Death, however, does not seem to be in the stars for you." 

There were things worse than death. 

"Under the laws created by His Holiness, Chief Bishop Hikusaak, you shall return to the land under Tabularasa." 

Tabularasa. The permanent erasure of memory. The return to the blank slate; impressionable and innocent all over again. Some would consider it a blessing after the horrors they had seen in their lives, but to one such Albert Silverberg, who had his entire life before him and the knowledge and power to attain something great, the punishment was as devastating as a mortal blow. 

"You will be exiled from the Holy Kingdom and restricted from ever entering again on pain of death." 

Sasarai looked down upon the red-haired Silverberg standing at the bottom of the dais and flanked by several guards. The man, despite his harsh sentence, had not been stripped completely of his dignity as he stood there; he wore no manacles or exuded any auras of spells of binding, nor wore the clothing of a prisoner. There was no doubt in Sasarai's mind that the process of Tabularasa would strip Albert of everything - including the illusion of dignity that he held onto now. 

However, he could not keep down his feelings as he condemned the man once more; the rage of knowing he had his hands on one of the four Destroyers that stole his True Rune and nearly wiped out several countries and could not kill him was a frustration in itself. Adding in the fact that this man was linked directly to the True Rune bearer that had torn his mind open with the truth of his existence made him even more bitter. His lips moved nearly subconsciously, and his words held a great deal of anger. 

"May the souls of those you have trespassed upon never let you rest until your dying days." 

Silverberg raised his gaze, leveling cold green eyes to the bearer of the True Earth Rune. There was no surprise or shock on his face as he coolly waited for his condemner to finish. Sasarai wanted to storm down the dais and hurt the young man, wanted to scream at him for ruining his life… 

"Do you have anything you have to say for yourself?" 

He wanted Silverberg to beg for his life, but he knew the family of strategists were far too proud to do such a thing. He wanted Silverberg to do something - something that would anger him and leave him enraged, fueled with the hatred for Luc and the Destroyers that turned everything upside down only a year ago. 

Whatever he had wanted Albert to do, it certainly was not what he ended up doing. 

Albert smiled thinly, arms spread and palms towards the Harmonian bishop in a mock form of surrender. "This is not the last time you will see me, Bishop Sasarai." 

The audacity of Albert's statement enflamed Sasarai, and he shut his eyes and lifted a hand in chant. Three slow twists of his hand; a plea for inner strength, a prayer to the Circle Rune, and a call for the grace of Chief Hikusaak. A gesture towards the condemned man, who he could not see beyond his shut eyelids. Shutting his palm and reopening it, calling upon Chief Hikusaak's intervention - and then the summon of Tabularasa. 

There was no visible or audible confirmation that the spell had worked save for Albert collapsing to his knees, and then his face, at the bottom of the dais while guards looked on, speechless. Sasarai could feel in his bones that the spell had taken effect, and he motioned the guards to take the prisoner away. When the redhead woke up next, he would not know his own name, let alone his words to Sasarai. 

However, Sasarai found himself unable to hold onto his anger at Albert's final words, and he soon slipped into a perpetual state of weary numbness. 

- - - - -

He awoke slowly, his mind slowly becoming aware of his surroundings as he shifted in his bed. Massaging his temples wearily, the Harmonian bishop sat up and recalled the vivid dream based on the happenings only three days ago. Albert Silverberg had been exiled from Harmonia after the spell of Tabularasa had been completed, and he would have been more than happy to leave the matter at that. However, the dream left him with more than a fair amount of doubt in his mind. 

Was it possible that Albert had somehow managed to steal the Beast Rune? 

If so, why? There was no way that he would be able to call upon it in his present state. 

How had he managed to get the Beast Rune out of the One Temple? 

What was he planning to do with it? 

His excommunication matched up perfectly with the reports about the disappearance of the Beast Rune, and would also explain how the rune had managed to leave Crystal Valley so quickly. The strategist certainly had every motive to steal from Harmonia, but Sasarai had reason to doubt his power over the rune. 

Perhaps he had underestimated Silverberg somehow. 

As the questions began to build in his mind, Sasarai found himself struggling out from under the bedcovers and scrambling for a robe. He performed a silent prayer to the Circle Rune for such a clear vision, slipping his rings on and preparing to face the new day. 

It was time to begin a manhunt for Albert Silverberg. 

x x x x x

The stench of death clung to Chisha as the villagers tried to grasp the tragedy that had befallen their small community. The early-risers were the first to stumble upon the sight of over a dozen of brutally-slaughtered sheep, many of them alerting the rest of the village in their distress. Among them was Luca, who stared at the bloody carnage as shepherds wearily carried their killed livestock away. 

"… An animal did this?" he inquired, looking at Sana as she stood next to him. 

The old woman sighed, turning to offer to sympathy to the shepherds that had lost sheep before turning her attention to the young man. "They have only found one set of tracks around here; the tracks of a … large wolf." 

Luca scratched the back of his neck, adjusting his dark blue coat and tilting his head. "You don't sound too convinced." 

"I'm afraid to say that it _was_ a wolf, because this is far too much for one wolf to do by itself." Sana shook her head sadly. "Thankfully, many of the sheep escaped before the wolf could attack them." She made a faint gesture to the men who were packing up to prepare searching for the remaining sheep. 

The redhead nodded slowly, examining the splintered fencing in silent awe. He had not seen such a display of destruction before - at least, to his limited knowledge. His attention absorbed by the tragic and bloody scene, Luca did not react when he heard Sana turn around and greet someone else. 

"I came over as soon as I heard… This is terrible!" Apple exclaimed after a greeting to the clan elder. "Is there anything that I can do?" 

Sana raised her hands, shaking her head in declination to Apple's offers. "Please, Miss Apple, you're a _guest_ here," she said with a thin smile. She paused, adjusting her shawl and looking at the man that had his back to them. "On second thought, perhaps you _can_ do something… I noticed that young Caesar had red hair and green eyes. I was hoping that you could help the young man that wandered into our midst two days ago…" 

Apple blinked in surprise at the strange request, her eyes focusing on the man that stood close to the remnants of the sheep pen. Her eyes widened considerably as the man turned, and she looked from the redhead to Sana and back again as he stopped by the old woman's side. 

_It can't be…_

Sana immediately took notice of Apple's expression, smiling encouragingly as she touched Luca's gloved wrist. "Do you recognize Luca, Miss Apple?" she asked. 

"Luca?" repeated Apple, still staring at Albert. Chisha would have to be the _last_ place she would have ever imagined to see Albert again. Especially with a different name. 

Luca looked at the bespectacled woman blankly. "Yes?" His eyes narrowed slightly as his mind churned, the sight of the woman helping him maintain the thoughts that would normally be stolen away. "Do I know you?" 

Sana gestured, a broad smile appearing on her face. "Miss Apple, will you please help him? You're the first he's recognized." 

"I- I suppose so…" _She doesn't even realize who he is. What would she do if she knew who he was?_ Although she was not completely clear as to what Albert's agenda was during the last war, she did not condone his actions in the slightest; as a Silverberg, she had expected more from him than to aid someone that was bent on destroying the entire continent. 

She resisted thinking too deeply about Luc and everything he stood for. It was hard to believe that, at one time, she would have considered that man to have been a companion - maybe even a _friend,_ with his limited ways of expressing himself. Shaking her head slowly, Apple concentrated her attention on Albert, who was looking in confusion between her and Sana. 

"I don't think I understand…" He trailed off, looking at Sana for an explanation. 

"I think Miss Apple will be able to help you much more than I possibly could, Luca," Sana said quietly, nodding in acknowledgment to the other woman. "And maybe Sir Silverberg can help, too." 

Apple watched Albert carefully as Sana spoke, looking for any sign of deception in the young man's features. "… It would probably be best if I go get Caesar; he should know about this." 

Luca, although still confused, shook his head and reached out to the woman. He grasped Apple's wrist for all of a moment, then released it with a perplexed expression. _I shouldn't be so familiar … but I think I know her…_"May I go with you?" 

Surprised by Albert's earnestness, Apple found herself hesitating. Sana urged her to accept, releasing the young man's wrist and nodding. 

"Please, Miss Apple." 

All the formality of a stranger. Once again, Apple found herself openly staring. 

"Of course … Albert." 

x x x x x

He felt like sleeping and, for once, felt absolutely lazy for thinking so. 

Caesar stretched out in the bath, a yawn escaping him as he settled back. After skipping the bath in favor of immediately hitting bed, Caesar spent his waking hours crawling out of bed and staying in the bath for well over an hour. He was glad to be back in the midst of such peaceful people; as much as he had liked Brass Castle's atmosphere, there was something much more comforting about the small Grassland clans than the bustling of the Zexen cities. 

He wanted to get back to Toran. As much as he enjoyed traveling with Apple, he was tired of the Grasslands and everything they reminded him of. As nonchalant as he had acted throughout the war, he had constantly hated being pitted against Albert. He was not especially fond of some of the people he had worked with, and he was certain his attitude had made him out to be more lazy than he actually was. 

A knock on the door drew him out of his reverie. He had asked not to be disturbed by anyone, so he came to the conclusion that it _had_ to be Apple. The woman had quite a way of bursting in on his privacy - not on purpose really, but she just had a strange knack of making herself known when he was happily relaxing. 

"I'm taking a bath, Apple!" he called, eyes still shut as he shouted. Running a hand through his damp hair, the young strategist dragged a towel closer to his side just in case Apple decided to ignore him. He scowled as he heard the door open, sitting up a little straighter and drawing the towel over his shoulders. Although he was not especially surprised, he still felt the right to be annoyed as he opened his green eyes. "Geez, can't a guy get a moment alone now-" 

He stopped as his vision focused on the figure standing at the door, nearly rising completely out of the bath in his shock. Emerald eyes widened in disbelief and, for once, Caesar found himself speechless. 

"Caesar?" 

_No way in hell. _

He's been haunting my thoughts for the last year. 

I must've finally cracked. 

"Um…" 

Shaking away his initial surprise, Caesar stared at the other redhead for a long moment. Happiness, sadness, annoyance, anger, and other emotions fought for control, and he found himself wondering whether to embrace or punch his brother. 

However, his mind froze as Albert spoke once again. 

"Are you Caesar Silverberg?" 


	6. Second Chances

Disclaimer: Suikoden doesn't belong to me. Neither do the characters, including the Silverbergs. Nothing else to say, really!  
Started: March 9, 2004  
Finished: April 15, 2004  
Revised: October 14, 2005

* * *

**"Tabularasa - The Pieces of You"**  
_Chapter 5: Second Chances_

He was not sure what to make of the dazed look the teenager gave him from his seat in the bath. Although there was nothing overly offensive about the stare the other redhead gave him, he felt uncomfortable under such scrutiny. He moved to round the tub, frowning slightly at the other and repeating his question. "Are you Caesar Silverberg?"

The response was instantaneous. Before the older man could blink, the younger had reached across the tub and grabbed the front of his shirt, nearly dragging him down into the bath water with him. "How dare you?"

Eyes wide, the taller of the two grabbed hold of the wrists on his shirt and wrenched them off of himself. "What are you talking about?" he demanded, backing away quickly before he could be grabbed at again.

Caesar tore out of the water after the other, glaring daggers at his brother. "How _dare_ you play stupid after everything you've done? I knew you were arrogant, Albert, but you're making yourself out to be a _real prick!_" Albert backpedaled as the smaller redhead lunged, expression wary as he kept his eyes on the aggressive boy.

_"Caesar Antonius Silverberg!"_

Both tensed at the voice that rang throughout the room, slowly turning their attention to the shouter. Apple stood at the entrance, one hand on the doorknob and the other holding her removed glasses. Her eyes scrunched shut, the woman appeared red in the face - in embarrassment or anger, neither of the young men could tell. "I sent Albert in here to _talk_ to you, not for you to _assault_ him!" She paused, shaking her head to clear it. "Get some clothes on, Caesar, and come to our room. Albert, come with me."

Albert glanced over his shoulder at the woman, nodding although she would not see the action. He gave Caesar one last confused glance before turning his back, leaving the flustered and upset teenager standing in the middle of the room, dripping wet.

x x x x x

"Boss, orders from Crystal Valley."

He raised a brow and leaned forward, setting the chair back on all four legs and looking up at his companion's dark face. "Huh, that's a bit strange," he grunted, reaching for the papers that the older man held out in offering. "Did ya read the papers over yet, Nicholas?"

"Of course, sir." Nicholas nodded, cupping his chin and rubbing it as he spoke. "We're supposed to search for an Albert Silverberg and detain him by any means necessary. Bishop Sasarai wants him transported back to Crystal Valley."

"Silverberg, eh? 'Wonder if he's related to that lazy strategist from the war?" Duke drawled, flipping through the papers idly. "By any means necessary, huh? What's the bounty?" The scarred mercenary smirked, reaching for his tankard and beginning to down the rest of its contents.

"Two hundred thousand potch."

The fiery-haired man nearly spluttered at the response, slamming the glass back on the table and staring at his comrade. "Two hundred thousand for one man?" he rasped, clearing his throat and beginning to laugh. "Damn, what a deal!"

"I've already sent out Gau to intercept the orders to the other units," reported the dark-haired man, knowing quite well the way his leader's mind worked.

"Good, good," Duke chuckled, standing up and smirking widely. "Grab your stuff and let's get a move on. We'll beat out Geddoe's team yet."

Nicholas simply nodded, waiting for Duke to stride past him before turning and following him out of the Calerian bar.

x x x x x

"I have to admit it… This is _very_ different from what I thought it'd be like."

"Is that a good or a bad thing, Sir Nash?"

"I'll tell you as soon as my stomach catches up, Franz."

Nash clung to the horn of the flying saddle as he and Franz soared through the air, trying his best to keep his eyes open while pointedly not looking down. Sasarai had sent a daybreak summons for the Mantor riders of Le Buque to come to Crystal Valley, and Franz and half a dozen other riders had arrived several hours later. Now they were heading back towards the home of the Mantor riders before traveling towards Kuput Forest.

When the search in Crystal Valley and the surrounding areas did not provide any clues, Nash had not been surprised. The True Runes were elusive, only becoming known to mortals at their own decision or when they took hosts. Once the Beast Rune had managed to escape the One Temple, it was unlikely for it to stay around in the place that had held it captive for so long. They had returned by the end of the day, exhausted and understandably frustrated.

But the bishop had awakened half of the Crystal Palace in his rush to send out summons to Le Buque. With a vision pointing out a possible suspect with strong motive, Sasarai led his group down to the Grasslands. Albert Silverberg, the only 'Destroyer' to reappear in society after the near-destruction of the entire continent, was their suspect.

In a strange way, it made sense.

x x x x x

How long had he been stalking through the Grasslands on a wild goose chase?

Yuber seethed to himself as he rested on a protruding rock formation in the middle of the plains, flat on his back and his arms crossed. The howling of a wolf continued to coax him further out onto the plains, but the demon refused to follow it any further.

Although time was all relative in the mind of the demon, he had grown tired of following the echo of a creature that never once made itself physically known. He felt as if he was chasing a ghost, never knowing quite where the source of the voice was and greatly frustrated by this turn of events. Was he wasting his time on a mirage?

He thought back on where he had first heard the howling, near Chisha Village. Without the wolf distracting him, he was able to think back on the time spent near the village. He had been musing over Silverberg when the Beast Rune had made itself known.

Was the wolf luring him away from Chisha and Silverberg?

He sat up, eyes averting to the coat that he had laid out on the edge of the rock to dry. Now, more than ever, he felt the need to look for Albert. Following the strategist's trail had led him to Chisha, where he had sensed the presence of the Beast Rune and followed a ghostly howl. If the Beast Rune was with Silverberg, what did this mean for his former employer? How the hell had arrogant and collected Silverberg gotten his hands on the _Beast Rune,_ a notoriously-wild True Rune?

Smirking to himself, Yuber grabbed hold of the white coat and leapt off of the rock.

It was time to return the coat to Silverberg.

x x x x x

Caesar was understandably sullen as he slowly made his way down the hall, his hair damp and a towel resting around his neck. Unanswered questions echoed through his head, anger simmering behind emerald eyes as he tried to focus. There was no way to forget the sudden reappearance of his aloof and arrogant older brother, especially considering the first words out of his mouth as soon as they saw each other.

He felt betrayed. Confused, angry, and frustrated. _What kind of cruel joke was that! He's gotta know how I feel - how can he be so callous!_

By the time he reached the room that he and Apple were sharing, he was openly seething. Loosing one hand from its tight fist, he took hold of the doorknob and prepared to turn it. However, he found himself pausing as voices from within pierced the storm of turmoil clouding his mind.

"Why does he hate me?"

A deliberate sigh, followed by a long period of silence. The tense stillness was enough to keep Caesar from entering the room. "Things have happened in the past, Albert."

"… I don't understand." It was a hushed admission, and Caesar only caught it by holding his breath.

"You had a disagreement of sorts. It's not my place to try to explain." Good, reliable Apple, trying to keep her nose out of other people's domestic problems.

"Will he tell me? I've never seen someone so … angry before." The utter naivety in such a mature voice was shocking to listen to.

"I'm almost sure you have, Albert."

"I don't remember any of them." The silence became awkward after that, and Caesar clenched his hand around the knob even more tightly. He was gathering up the strength to push the door open when he heard Albert speak again. "What was his name again?"

"Caesar, you mean?"

"And he's my brother?"

"Yes, he is." There was a surprised tone to Apple's voice. "We've been over this before, Albert."

"I'm sorry… I forgot. I forget new people very quickly."

"Even your own brother?"

"… I'm sorry, Miss Apple. I don't even remember his face anymore."

There were tears in Caesar's eyes before he realized it, and he released the doorknob as if suddenly burned. _He really doesn't know._ He backed away slowly, his breaths labored and shuddering as he turned away from the door. _That confusion wasn't fake._ Shaking his head, he sprinted down the hall, the towel tumbling off his shoulders and ignoring the noise his boots made as he pounded down the stone corridor. _I really lost him. Again. Again…_

Apple tensed as she heard the door rattle slightly, standing up from her bed and heading for the door. Albert watched her quizzically, rising from the chair he had settled down upon and following after her. The bespectacled woman opened the door warily, stepping out into the hallway and gingerly picking up the damp, discarded towel.

"Did something happen, Miss Apple…?" inquired Albert, hanging back and resting one hand against the doorframe.

She sighed and bundled up the towel, looking down the hallway with a worried frown. "Caesar overheard."

Albert blinked and followed her gaze. "Will he be okay?"

"Do you remember _anything_ about being a brother, Albert?" Apple inquired, glancing at the taller man with a troubled look.

Dusting off his blue shirt, Albert lowered his eyes to stare back at her. "No, I'm sorry, but I don't." _I don't even know what that is. Being a brother?_ "But … why would he run off?"

Apple looked pensive as she gazed back at the perplexed Silverberg. "Why don't you go ask him yourself, Albert?"

The redhead blinked. Hard. "Ask him?"

"If you want to know, you should ask him yourself," the woman said, nodding. "You aren't afraid of asking him, are you?"

Albert straightened at the question, frowning slightly and bristling at the very idea. "Of course not! There's no reason to be afraid of him, especially when there's nothing to lose in asking him." He raked a hand through his hair, and Apple was momentarily reminded of Caesar in some of his more serious moments. The two were brothers down to their mannerisms, although neither would probably ever admit it.

She simply looked at Albert until he began to move, watching the young man hesitantly pull away and take a few steps before gaining confidence and striding away. It was a very strange feeling, realizing that Albert truly did not remember anything; even the arrogance that she had found affronting about the young Silverberg had been left in tatters with his loss of memory.

She sighed, turning to reenter the room. Until she was able to figure out how Albert had become amnesiac, there was little else she could do other than help him try to remember.

Even if it meant forcing Caesar to give Albert another chance.

x x x x x

Caesar found it difficult seeking privacy in Chisha. The small village did not have many places for him to weep in peace, and so he settled behind a small storage hut to choke on his own sorrow. His thoughts were chaotic and entangled, much like the disheveled hair that he tugged on as he slid down the wall to sit on the ground.

He had never wanted to lose Albert. Although there had been flashes of frustration and long-stemmed bouts of anger over belief differences, he had never _hated_ his brother. He had always thought, perhaps naïvely so, that he would be able to meet with Albert on good terms once their differences were out of the way. Before the paradigms and tactical lessons had gotten in the way, they were brothers in every sense of the word. _Good_ brothers.

There were numerous times when he had thought he had lost Albert somehow, such as when Albert showed interest in going to the Soledt Academy of Military Sciences in Harmonia. When he had come back, the caring brother had somehow been lost behind the guise of an arrogant academy graduate with everything going for him. Albert's priorities had changed; he no longer had time for Caesar, as he was always busy researching and looking for ways to make himself known.

When Albert walked out of Gregminster a year after graduating, one year prior to the Second Fire Bringer War, Caesar thought he would never see him again. Of course, the thought had probably been manifested during a bout of teenage angst, but it was enough to dampen Caesar's spirits for a long time. Apple, who visited Gregmister every once in awhile to visit old friends within the hierarchy, took him in as a pupil after Albert's departure. They traveled northward, eventually ended up in the Grasslands, and were caught up in the war unfolding up there. The one that Albert had somehow orchestrated in order to earn himself a place within the Harmonian government.

Caesar had never thought there was a pain as agonizing as knowing your brother was your enemy. However, the realization that Albert remembered nothing of what they had been through together - the years of love, tears, and hardships - was unlike anything that he could possibly express in words.

He felt as if something had died within him.

"Caesar?"

He stiffened at the familiar voice, shutting his eyes stubbornly to avoid looking at this … _shell_ of a man that was once his brother. "Go away."

"If I did, that wouldn't change things."

"And you staying here _would_ change things?" he responded bitterly, hugging his knees to his chest.

"You could try talking to me." There was shifting as Albert moved away from standing over Caesar.

The younger Silverberg remained still, rubbing his eyes against his knees and quietly sighing. "I never wanted things like this, you know." He opened his eyes to find Albert kneeling in front of him, a mildly curious and concerned look on his face. It was a strange look for the elder to be wearing; that spark of curiosity in Albert's eyes had been squelched by the time he had returned home from Soledt.

"I'm sorry, but I don't understand."

"Of course you don't; you don't know anything," grumbled Caesar, glancing away to stare beyond Albert. "How could you understand?"

Albert rubbed his temples, feeling a headache coming on that had nothing, and yet everything, to do with Caesar. Part of him wanted to pursue the questions rising inside of him, while another wanted nothing more than to get away from this familiar-looking boy and forget. It was a strange feeling, and the feeling of being torn apart from inside bothered him greatly.

But he wanted to know - to _remember_ - this boy. His brother. Even if he had to go against the nagging pain that bothered him from time to time.

"I can't understand if you won't help me," he answered honestly, sighing and frowning at the growing headache. "I don't know what kind of relationship we had, Caesar … but I _want_ to know."

Caesar's gaze averted again to rest on his brother's. The bold sincerity in those eyes was almost too much to bear. _You have a chance to have everything back the way things were before. Would you give that up now?_ "We can try," he relented.

A smile spread across Albert's face at Caesar's words - the first smile Caesar had seen from his brother in over six years.

He was unsure whether to cry or smile back.

So he did both.


End file.
